And when the curtains opened, and I saw what lay behind,

I realised that, up until this point, I had been blind.

Up until this point I’d taken life on scene by scene.

And when I hadn’t liked it, I’d thrown popcorn at the screen.

 

I’d commented and pointed and, disjointed, I had watched.

I’d laughed and cried; felt dark inside, but still I’d sat and watched.

I’d breathed the breath from birth to death; I’d breathed it all and watched,

My home, the cinematic dome:  For years I had watched.

 

And now the show was over, and the curtains open wide.

My first response was outrage, for I felt the film had lied.

But in my heart I knew that it was I – I’d done the lying.

I’d watched and I’d done nothing whilst pretending I was trying.

 

And then a voice I knew so well, but had not heard for years,

Came flooding in around me like a blanket for my fears.

“Do not worry.  Don’t be sad.  You stayed until the end.

“Many do not get this far.  They do not want to ‘blend’.

 

“But when you blend with what you’ve got, you’re my co-director.

“The screen is not for watching.  It is there as a reflector.

“It shows us what we’re doing and it shows us what we’ve done.

“But the story’s OURS to write – and co-directing can be fun.

 

“I’m in charge of props and walk-ons, stage design and lighting.

“You’re in charge of making sure our story-line’s exciting.

“Anything you need: just ask, and manifest it so.

“People, places, artefacts – but all MUST be in flow

 

“With the Universal laws of the greatest highest good.

“Call me a romantic, but this must be understood

That our films will ONLY work if you’re prepared to be on stage.

“You cannot BE the story if you’re locked inside a cage.

 

“Now, would you like another turn to take this art in hand;

“To make our film an epic that is beautiful and grand?

“Would you like to go again, to start from the beginning,

“Knowing that forgetfulness will try to stop you winning?”
 

I sat and pondered long and deep.  Had I enjoyed this round,

Struggling through life without the tools I could have found?

Did I want to go again from being born a child,

Knowing life can be so cruel and dark and sad and wild?

 

By four years old I probably would not recall this voice,

And the fact that I was here not by circumstance but choice.

But all the senses, feelings, doubts, complexities and tests;

To have a human body and a mind that never rests.

 

“Thank you.  I would LOVE to.  I will be your co-director.”

“So be inside the movie.  Use the screen as a reflector.

 “Hold onto ‘Agape’ for our unified direction.

“Let’s make a masterpiece with a beautiful reflection.”

 

And then the lights went out and the curtains closed again.

And, projected on the curtains shone a golden number 10.

9, 8, 7, 6: electric in my seat.

3, 2, 1 slap my bum!  Let go my feet.